Own Your Actions And Reactions
Do you find it difficult to love your boss? Organizations are paying about $400 million to managers every year. Did you conclude that you want to avoid them? Just know that you are not alone. Are you fed up with the quarreling with your partner and thinking of a divorce? Become part of the 40% or 50% Americans who also perform thin in their earliest marriage (increases in the first or second marriage).
If you are willing to go through the research and articles that have been documented about challenging relationships, you need to invest several hours to be able to read everything. People are always numerous out there from their family members, colleagues at work, friends, exes, neighbors and so on that are ready to make you feel miserable. Frankly, several individuals only operate using bad attitudes. The reasons behind this are not limited to:
Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem
Sadness about their lives and feelings
Challenging conditions like loss of a job, financial mess, health challenges, and so on
Jealousy and envy
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Whenever an individual behaves in a mean, destructive, and uncaring manner, the attitude is coming from something happening within them and not you. They might indicate that it was about you like “you are making me so angry” but frankly, individuals who exhibit these undesirable attitudes are displaying a kind of pain from within.
However, how did they come in contact with this pain? To you, it is difficult whenever they yell at you, undermine you, forget your birthday, ignore you, become nasty for no reason and so on, just remember that the individual is going through pain. Unluckily, you are always giving away your power whenever you don’t remember this. The pain they are passing through will become yours. You ponder and resort to handling it another time. You imagine offering the best response that will dumbfound them. You purchase a voodoo doll and insert pins whenever you leave them.
We get our attention and minds attracted to the negative attitude of the individual, then we concentrate on those things they did (or yet to do) for or to us. The issue here is that other individuals are always the same. The narcissism won’t be changed by what you ponder about. The pain they feel within won’t be modified by just trying to say the right words (with the exception of professional therapists). Therefore, the cycle is never-ending. They behave negatively and you also react badly and this goes on and on.
When next you experience an individual who reacts negatively, try to retrieve your power. Don’t forget that you can own up to your actions and reactions, shift the dynamic, and reduce the effect inflicted by the negative attitude of this individual. Hard work is required as this is not easy, but when you can’t, attempt these five approaches whenever you come in contact with difficult individuals.
Try to understand
This does not imply that you should permit this negative attitude and does not also imply that you should obtain a degree in psychology to be able to understand what inspires them. It just implies that you should inquire from yourself if there is more to this than meets the eye. Instead of reacting to a negative attitude, wait, and inquire about what could be the reason behind the bad attitude. Some bad attitudes might require a show of compassion. Which is usually very difficult to offer after being battered emotionally.
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Perform an objective evaluation
Rather than pondering and reacting, take your time to behave like a detective or consultant and evaluate the condition using data and facts. “ My boss loves to yell about almost everything. He informed me to find a solution to something which I’ll do”. Then proceed to find a solution to it. Don’t remember what is going on in your mind about the negative attitude of your boss, rather be objective and clinical.
Recognize the effect
Does the negative and nasty attitude of your sister affect nothing about your life? Does your neighbor’s complaint about the horrible appearance of your lawn affect nothing how the day goes? There are some things that are not significant in reality. You can simply let go of any negative attitude that does not have any impact on your life. Allow them to walk away with their negative attitude and proceed with your life.
Let go of the desire to win
This might be extremely difficult, particularly in relationships when you are not at fault. Having the desire to win is beneficial to no one. It just births bad feelings. If your desire is to get a reward for being right, register for jeopardy or any other game show. However, being right always in relationships is usually associated with bad feelings.
Employ a mantra or any other calming activity.
You are being told my father about all your wrong choices, you are being taunted by your ex about his newfound love, your previous colleague is informing about the condition of the job after you left,…. Simply recite some mantras or any other calming words you say and breathe. Sing a few verses of the song you enjoy in your head and listen with the other ear. Go inward and block anything that might hurt you from within.
A negative attitude usually feels like it’s coming at you. It can seem hard to penetrate especially when you are at the receiving end. Take a decision to restore your power and be at alert whenever someone intends to hurt your feelings in any way. Use their negative energy and turn it into positive power.
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